QUESTIONS & INSIGHTS

THE NATURE AND PURPOSE OF GRIEF

Someone once said, "Grief is reaching out for someone who's always been there, only to find when you need them the most, one last time, they're gone." We think there is a lot of truth in those words.

The death of a loved one is life's most painful events. Death and grief are often misunderstood and treated as taboo topics of discussion, even though death is an inevitable part of life for everyone.

Grief can be lonely and isolating and it presents in unique ways to each mourner. There is no standard presentation or duration for grief. For some the feeling of loss is instant, for others, it is delayed, and for most, it comes in waves of sadness. However your grief presents, it is important to be patient and gentle with yourself and to seek support if you need it.

If you are concerned for the health and welfare of someone who has recently lost a loved one, it is important to check in on them or help them set up a system of support. 

MOST FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

  • 1

    What type of service should I have?

    If no pre-arrangements have been made, the type of service is entirely up to you, but it is best to consider what the deceased may have wanted.  Services are usually held at a funeral home or a place of worship. Call us at 609-695-1868 and we can help you to understand the options.

  • 2

    What happens if a death occurs in the middle of the night or on the weekend?

    We are here to help. Funeral directors are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 365 days a year. Call us at 609-695-1868.

  • 3

    Can I personalize a funeral?

    Of course, you can! We accommodate both traditional and non-traditional, personalized services.  A funeral is a remembrance of a unique individual and can be custom-tailored to honor each life lived in a way that truly represents the deceased. Let us know your desires are and we will do our best to honor your wishes.

  • 4

    What if a death occurs away from my home town?

    We can arrange to have the remains transported from anywhere in the world.  We will assume responsibility and make the proper arrangements to have the remains return to the community.

  • 5

    How much does a funeral cost?

    The cost of the funeral depends on the services selected.  The average cost of a funeral is between $5,000-$7,000; however, the most basic of services can cost as little as $1000.  The cost includes all professional services including transportation, embalming, and other preparations, the use of a facility for the ceremony, and the purchase of a casket or urn.

  • 6

    Do I need to have an embalming?

    No. In fact, some religions forbid embalming. Some countries require embalming by law in order for remains to leave or enter the country.  Embalming sanitizes and preserves the body. It also slows down the decomposition process and enhances the appearance of a body impacted by traumatic death or illness. Embalming gives time to the family of the deceased to arrange a service and allows for the possibility of an open-casket viewing. If it is not against your religious custom, embalming is generally recommended, especially if there is an extended gap between death and burial or cremation.

  • 7

    Do we need to have an obituary notice?

    It is recommended to have an obituary notice that is either posted in a local newspaper and/or online.  An obituary lets the public know that a death has occurred, and provides them with information about the service.  Obituaries generally include the deceased’s full name, age, city, and date of birth, as well as the city they were living in when they died, among other biographical information. We will gladly host your obituary as a part of the services we offer.

  • 8

    If I have a cremation, does that mean I can't have a funeral?

    The biggest misconception about cremation is that there can't be a funeral service or visitation. This is not true. When you choose to care for the physical remains through cremation, we encourage you to consider holding a memorial service as well.

  • 9

    Can I scatter the cremated ashes of a loved one anywhere?

    Scattering allows you to spread your loved one's cremated remains in a memorial garden, a cemetery, over water, or across any other meaningful site. You can also choose to scatter some of the cremated remains and retain the rest in an urn for internment or another form of disposition. It is recommended that you seek permission and observe any regulations before scattering ashes.
     

  • 10

    Why have a public viewing?

    A viewing is a part of many cultural and ethnic traditions. Many grief specialists believe that attending a viewing aids the grief process by helping the bereaved recognize the reality of death. Viewing is encouraged for children, as long as the process is explained and the activity is voluntary.

  • 11

    If I am cremated, can I be buried with my spouse even if they were buried in a casket?

    Depending upon the cemetery's policy, you may be able to save a grave space by having the cremains buried on top of the casketed remains of your spouse. However, you can always plan to utilize the space provided next to them. Many cemeteries allow for multiple cremated remains to be interred in a single grave space, too.

  • 12

    Should I bring my children?

    Allowing a child to attend a memorial or funeral service can help them say goodbye to a friend or loved one. It is important to not force a child to go, but instead, encourage them to share in this tribute with the rest of the family. Before attending, help prepare them by explaining what they might see at the service.

Christopher Merlino, Manager, NJ Lic. no. 4079​

© 2021 Buklad-Merlino Memorial Homes. Website by Metamorphosis Agency.

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